Listen to Mother
by NeneJPhilly
Summary: It's not all sand, surf and food at this beach party. In the end, will Chris learn a lesson? (oneshot)(Love You Universe)(COMPLETE)


"Are you finished in the task of cleaning your room?" Starfire flew through the door of Christopher's room. "Oh my!"

The room looked like a war torn disaster zone. The bed was messy, trash, clothes & toys littered the floor & Christopher was in the middle of it, sticking stickers to the ceiling. He had a pillow underneath him for when he would lose altitude & fall.

"Christopher!" Starfire set her hands on her hips.

Christopher was startled & fell towards the pillow. "Ahh!"

Starfire flew over & caught him. "Christopher, I thought I had told you to clean your room?"

"I know, Mommy but I found these stickers & I thought they'd be cool up there." Christopher pointed up.

"Regardless, you should complete your task in a more timely fashion. Your party starts soon."

"Yay!" He wiggled out of her arms & flew hazardously towards the door.

"Christopher! Return at once!"

Christopher sighed & landed. "Why can't I clean it later? It's my birthday!"

"I understand that your day of birth is very exciting to you but we have the rules for a reason. Now clean."

Christopher crossed his arms & pouted. "No."

Starfire blinked in surprise. "No?"

"No." He repeated. "I don't want to. You can't make me!"

"I will retrieve your father." She threatened.

"No!" Christopher raced to start picking up toys.

Starfire lifted her chin. "I expect your room to be tidy when I return."

"I don't like you anymore, Mommy. Jack was right; mommies are the worst." Christopher sniffled.

Starfire's heart broke. Christopher had never been so mean. She walked out with her head down.

She went to the elevator & rode it up to the common room. Jinx & Terra were the only ones up there & they were talking about fashion, one of her favorite topics. But she wasn't interested in partaking in the discussion.

She went to the kitchen & made a cup of tea. She sipped it slowly & thought over Christopher's errant behavior. It started around Thanksgiving. Just a lot of pouting when she wanted him to do something.

Then it graduated to backtalk. He'd say little remarks that she was sure no one in the tower had taught him. Then started the bad behavior. Now he outright refused to do what she said & it was only her. He happily obeyed the others.

Had she done something to diminish her role in his eyes? Had she somehow given him the impression that she was to be ignored?

She started when Raven touched her shoulder. "Oh! Friend Raven!"

"Gar smells distress & I feel it coming from you. Are you okay?"

Starfire sighed. "May we talk?"

"Let me make a cup of tea." Raven went about making a cup of tea then sat down next to Starfire. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Has Charlotte ever expressed her displeasure in you?" Starfire chewed on her bottom lip.

Raven blinked then frowned. "I don't understand."

"Has she ever spoken out against you & your relationship?" She clarified.

Raven looked at her as if she were speaking Tameranean. "No."

Starfire sighed & sipped from her mug.

"Where is this coming from? Why would Charlotte be displeased with me? Did she say anything?"

"No! No." Starfire waved her hands. "It is not Charlotte that has expressed such displeasure but _Christopher_. He has recently informed me that he does not like me any longer."

Raven watched as a tear dropped down her cheek. "Starfire…"

"What have I done that has caused him such malign?" Starfire implored with large green eyes.

"It's not you." Raven assured her. "Something must be going on. Chris loves you."

"Are you the certain? He seemed very adamant."

"I'm 100% positive." Raven swore. "I've never seen a little boy love his mother more."

"What of friend Bumble Bee & Calvin?"

"Cal can barely talk. He can only show his love in hugs & kisses. Chris can tell you how much he loves you."

"But he has not in a very long time. He seems to abhor my company altogether."

"Chris?" Raven was shocked & looked around to see a pebble on the countertop. Another effect of her powers. "That cannot be further from the truth."

"He misbehaves, he does not listen & he grows surly & angry when not getting his way. Yet it is only with me. At young Calvin's day of birth, he broke the strap on my dress. On purpose."

Raven stared at her. "That's why you changed."

Starfire nodded.

Raven thought about it. "Have you talked this over with Nightwing?"

"I am afraid he will agree with Christopher."

Raven set her mouth. "He will not. He better not."

"As it stands, he is of little help. Christopher listens to Boyfriend Nightwing. It is solely me that he does not."

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Jinx called out.

Raven put a hand on Starfire's shoulder. "Have faith. Nightwing can help. Just talk to him."

Starfire nodded. "It should not make it worse."

Raven's mouth twisted. "Humph."

"Thank you, Raven. I feel much better after speaking with you about this matter."

"You're not going to talk to Nightwing about this, are you?"

"Not until I am certain that he needs to be consulted."

Raven shook her head. _Famous last words…_

(^_^€)

Nightwing entered Christopher's room. "Clean room? Good job, buddy."

Christopher beamed as he put his last toy away. "Thank you, Daddy!"

"Come on, Chris. It's time for your party. Want Mommy to dress you?"

"No." Christopher was still a little miffed with Starfire.

"Alright. Where's your swim trunks?" Nightwing went to the chest of drawers & rooted through them.

Christopher shrugged & walked over to stand beside his father. "Mommy put them up."

"They could be anywhere." Nightwing grinned before checking all the drawers, taking things out & setting them on the bed. "Ah! Here they go!"

Christopher's mouth fell open. "You made a mess! Mommy's going to be mad."

Nightwing shrugged. "I'll tell her it was my fault. I'll clean it later."

Christopher grinned before taking his shirt off.

Nightwing laughed. "You're eager, aren't you?"

"What's eager?"

"It means you can't wait to do something."

"Oh." Christopher nodded. "I am eager. I'm having a beach party."

"&?"

"& we're grilling!" Christopher jumped around.

"Yeah." Nightwing loved to grill. He didn't have much of a chance because Cyborg was a grill hog but he was going to pick up Nana McCain & the grill was all Nightwing's.

Christopher tugged his shoes off & threw them wherever. He shoved his pants down & stepped out of them. Nightwing handed him the trunks & he slipped them on.

Nightwing held up a thumb. "Let's go. Grandpa is here."

"Grandpa!" Christopher was excited to see Clark [Kent].

Nightwing steered him out & to the elevator. They got on & rode down to the beach, where things were getting set up.

"Charlie!" Christopher called out. "I got my trunks on!"

Charlotte looked over from where she was building things in the sand. "I see."

"What are you building?!" He ran over to her.

"A sandcastle."

"Can I help you?"

"Don't you want to wait for our mommies to come outside?" She looked at him in her serious way.

He made a face. "I'm mad at my mommy."

"Why?"

"She made me clean my room."

She looked at him like he was stupid.

"She did!"

"I believe you."

He sighed. "Can I help you or not?"

She shrugged. "Daddy says it's a free country."

"What's a country?"

"I don't know."

(^_^€)

Nightwing flipped a burger on the grill & was satisfied with the sizzle it made. "Heh."

"So how's Chris doing with not going back to school?" Clark (Superman) asked.

"He's not happy about it but he's coming around. He likes that he gets to spend all his time with Charlie & Cal."

"How was his birthday? Last week right?"

"Yeah. It was pretty good."

A car drove up to the tower. Bruce Wayne (Batman) & Tim Drake (Robin) got out. They walked over & deposited gifts on the table & said their hellos to the Titans.

Bruce walked over to Nightwing & clapped a hand on his back. "Hello, Dick. Clark."

"You can at least sound happy to see me." Clark teased. "We share a grandson."

Bruce simply blinked at him.

"Where's Barry when you need him?"

"Chasing down a woman or a taco trunk."

Clark laughed. "See? You _can_ make jokes."

"I'm not joking."

Clark shrugged. "Still funny."

"Please don't say the "f" word." Nightwing nearly dropped the spatula in his hand.

""F" word?" Bruce asked.

"Changeling has read various baby books & they all say that the baby can hear us so he's been on this kick of telling jokes whenever he can so the baby can "have a sense of humor right out of the womb"."

"Why?" Bruce looked distraught.

"He wants the baby to "know" he's funny."

"He's not funny."

"That's what we've been telling him but he annoys Raven so much, we've been getting sick off cookies."

"Maybe I can talk to him?" Clark suggested.

"What does cookies have to do with him annoying her?" Bruce asked.

Nightwing explained about her ring. "& annoyance makes cookies that are actually quite delicious."

"That's ingenious." Bruce nodded. "Where is Cyborg?"

"Going to pick his grandmother up. Chris really likes her & wanted her to come. I think she's going to be at Charlie's party next month. Everyone really likes her."

"What is she? a saint?"

"She could be. She gives out hugs."

Bruce looked at him. "Are you saying I didn't hug you enough?"

"You didn't hug me at all. & no, I'm not saying that."

Bruce growled as Clark laughed.

Changeling walked over. "She banned me from talking to him!"

"What?" Nightwing was confused.

"Rae! She banned me from talking to my own son!" He was offended on so many levels.

Nightwing stared at him then bubbled up with laughter. "What'd you say?"

"Why do you assume I said something?!"

"What'd you do?" Clark raised a brow.

"I told a joke." Changeling bowed his head.

"What was it?" Bruce asked, knowing it wasn't funny.

"What's the laziest part of a car?" He snapped his head up with a grin.

"This is going to be bad, isn't it?" Nightwing guessed.

"No! It's good! I swear!"

"I don't know. What's the laziest part of a car?"

"The wheels! Because they're always tired!" Changeling actually looked proud of himself.

"Wow."

"Good one, ain't it?"

"No, that was so bad; it should be against the law to tell jokes so unfunny."

"You guys just don't have a sense of humor. I'm funny!"

"Your own daughter doesn't think you're funny & she's two."

"She just has her mom's sense of humor. Dead."

"Now that was a bit funny." Clark said.

Changeling smiled.

"Don't get happy. He said a bit." Bruce popped his balloon.

"See how he brightens a room?" Changeling huffed & walked away in a tiff.

"He should drop the knock-knock jokes. He's funny when he's not trying to be." Clark hooked a thumb at the retreating green man's back.

"That's Gar. Accidentally funny but purposely horrendously not funny." Nightwing flipped the burgers again.

Bruce looked over at the shore. "How is Christopher doing?"

"With school? He's okay. Bummed about not going back but he's excited to spend all his time with Charlie & Cal. He thinks it's the best idea ever."

"I meant overall but it's nice that he isn't too upset about school. I don't know why you're pulling him out anyway."

"You of all people should realize our secret identities could be in danger with him in school."

"People can be bought."

Clark blinked in shock. "You did not just say that with a straight face."

"What other face does he have?" Nightwing muttered.

Bruce glared at both. "People can be bought. It's a simple fact."

"Where I come from, you can't buy people. They're decent hardworking Americans that have a high moral fiber." Clark defended his town.

"Yes, everyone from Nowhere, Kansas is a saint." Bruce mocked.

"It's not nowhere!"

Nightwing tried to keep a straight face but his lips twitched.

"I have another word but I don't think you'll like it." Bruce raised a brow.

Clark seethed.

This was it. Nightwing was def. going to laugh.

"Heads up!" Tim called out.

Nightwing caught the Frisbee coming his way & returned it, glad that he was able to keep his cool.

"I am going to go play with my granddaughter." Clark stalked off.

"He's so sensitive." Bruce rolled his eyes.

Nightwing turned the hotdogs & kept silent.

"How is your relationship?"

Nightwing almost fell over. "What?!"

"Your relationship with the alien. How is it?"

Nightwing stood there with his mouth open for a while before he shook himself. "How's your relationship with Selina Kyle?"

"Touché." Bruce nodded. "I did just want to know."

Nightwing mentally rolled his eyes. "My relationship is fine."

"Have you said _it_ yet?"

"It? What it?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No. I really don't. You gave no context."

Bruce looked around before leaning in. "I love you."

"One more time?" Nightwing was in shock.

Bruce sighed. "Have you said I love you?"

"Oh! Oh. Yes, I have."

"How many times? Women like to hear it a lot."

Nightwing blushed. "Twice."

"You're not doing good enough."

Nightwing could have dropped dead. "What?!"

"Women like to hear that drivel on a regular basis. & she's a beautiful young… woman. If you don't want her to leave you for some frou-frou, sensitive, in touch with his every feeling man-child, you need to change."

 _Wow_. Nightwing blinked. "What do you suggest I change?"

"You're a strong man. Whine a bit. Make her feel as if she can be the one to be logical & coolheaded. It'll make her feel more in charge."

"Are you sexist?!"

"Not at all. Women like to feel strong & if you _dampen_ your strength, she can be stronger."

"She's already stronger than me!"

"Not physically."

"Not just physically."

"I didn't raise you to be soft."

"You-?! You just said I had to be-! Please let me grill in peace."

"If you can't deal with me asking a simple question, how can you understand the female mind?"

"I'm walking away now." Nightwing set aside the tongs & spatula to literally walk as far away as necessary.

"I'll take care of the grill!" Bruce called out.

Nightwing stopped in his tracks. "Can you even grill?"

"Of course I can!"

Nightwing turned around. "I'll stay."

"Go off & run your little girlfriend away. I can grill."

Nightwing didn't know where to start. "I have never seen you grill anything in my life."

"I've never seen you grill."

"Alfred taught me."

"Alfred taught me."

"You're lying!"

"I don't lie."

"That was a lie!"

Bruce waved him away. "Just go away."

Nightwing stalked over to where the drinks were & grabbed a cold one.

"He's driving you to drink?" Bumble Bee joked.

Nightwing gave her a sour look. "Yes!"

"Can he grill or is he going to burn our food?"

"I don't know. I just don't know."

(^_^€)

"Nana!" Voices rang out.

Shirley giggled. "Hello all!"

Kid Flash beat everyone to give her a hug. "Hi, Nana!"

She rubbed his back & rocked with him. "& how are you, Wally?"

"I'm fine, Nana. Jinx keeps teasing me though. She calls me fat & a pig."

"Jinx, that isn't very nice."

"But he's a fat pig, Nana." Jinx blinked.

Changeling, Cyborg & Nightwing chuckled. Kid Flash side-eyed all of them.

"Nana? It's my birthday." Christopher pulled on her jean capris.

Shirley let Kid Flash go & picked up Christopher. "It's your birthday today? How old are you?"

"Four."

"Four? How many is four?"

He thought about it. "I don't know."

"It's this many." Charlotte held up four fingers.

"That's right, Charlie." Shirley cupped her chin.

Charlotte beamed.

Christopher held up four fingers. "That's a lot."

"Ask your daddy how old he is & you'll see a lot." Shirley teased.

Christopher giggled as Nightwing's jaw dropped. "He said he was five of me. Is that a lot?"

"That's twenty. That's more fingers than you have." Shirley put all his fingers up.

Christopher's mouth fell open & he looked to Nightwing. "You're old, Daddy!"

Changeling fell out laughing.

"I don't know what you're laughing at." Nightwing pushed him. "You're going to be my age in a month. & I'm still nineteen, Chris. I'm a teenager."

"That's right, Nightwing. Hold onto your youth like a mother octopus clings to the face of the predator trying to eat her young." Bumble Bee teased.

"That was some imagery." Cyborg whispered.

Nightwing groaned. "I'm not clinging to my youth."

"You're still young; you don't need to." Clark said.

"Hello." Shirley put Christopher down to shake his hand. "I'm Shirley."

"Oh yeah." Cyborg forgot he didn't introduce anybody. "Nana, this is Gar's & Kori's dad, Clark & Dick's dad, Bruce. Guys, this is my grandmother, Shirley McCain."

Clark took her hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. McCain."

"Call me Nana or Shirley." Shirley smiled.

"I think I might call you Nana. It's just more down-home & friendly."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Shirley."

Shirley looked him over. "So _you're_ Dick's father?"

"I am."

"Humph!"

"What has he told you?!" Bruce glared at Nightwing.

"Nothing. She's just a great judge of character!" Nightwing crossed his arms. "Nana, meet my brother, Tim. Tim, this is Nana."

Tim waved. "Hi. I've never met a nana before."

Shirley hugged him. "You deserve this."

Tim was so confused & slightly embarrassed. "Okay?"

"Just go with it." Nightwing advised.

Tim melted into the hug & smiled.

Starfire floated a little at the joy on his face. "Hugs make everything better!"

Christopher wanted a hug, too so he went to his mother & raised his arms.

Starfire floated even higher at his demeanor & picked him up to give him a tight hug.

Changeling picked up Charlotte & hugged her while Bumble Bee hugged Calvin.

Bruce let his blank (but obviously judging) face slid on his features. "Are you all done?"

"No." Tim twisted from side to side slowly, making Shirley twist, too.

"Tim!"

Tim sighed & disentangled himself from Shirley.

"How about you have one of my chocolatey walnut brownies?" Shirley threw shade at Bruce as she spoke to Tim.

"Brownies?" Tim grew excited. "I haven't had a brownie in forever!"

"You made brownies?" Kid Flash knew he was in love.

Changeling was right behind him. "Why do you call them your chocolatey walnut brownies?"

"They have chocolate chips & walnuts in them." Shirley cupped his chin.

"I love walnuts!"

"Do you like peanut butter?" Cyborg gestured to the pans he had set down as soon as they got there.

"You know it!"

"Then you'll love my peanut butter brownies." Shirley was sure. "They have chocolate chips & peanut butter chips in them with a peanut butter swirl on top."

The boys were salivating. "Yum!"

"There's four pans here. What else did you make?" Bumble Bee asked.

"Besides the brownies, I made my baked beans. The regular & the pan for Gar." Shirley bopped his nose.

"Ahh!" Changeling squeezed Charlotte in his happiness.

"He gets a whole pan to himself?! Not fair!" Kid Flash grumbled.

"Shut up! Yes, it is! You murderers can share a pan!"

"Anyone who wants either one can have some." Shirley cut through the fight.

"I've been dreaming about these beans for a week." Kid Flash sidled over to the table holding Shirley's contribution.

"I must admit, I have been doing the dreaming of them as well." Starfire walked over.

"What's all in them?" Terra asked. "They're sweet & spicy & so good. The guys ate them up from us last week."

"That's why I doubled the recipe." Shirley winked. "There's the beans of course, brown sugar, ketchup, barbecue sauce, onions, green peppers, hamburger meat, bacon & mustard."

"Man, that sounds good." Tim licked his lips.

"For anyone who doesn't want meat, there's my beans with the exact same ingredients but with imitation meat & tofu bacon."

"I can't wait!" Changeling put Charlotte down.

Raven put a hand on his arm. "Don't you want to wait for Titans East?"

"Who?!"

"It doesn't pay to be so greedy, C." Bumble Bee shook her head.

"Can I at least taste them? Just to see if I like them?" Changeling knew he was going to like them.

"Just a spoonful." Shirley got him a plastic spoon & scooped up some vegetarian beans. She fed him & he nearly melted to the ground.

"How does it taste?" Raven knew he was in heaven. He had the same look on his face like when she scratched his back.

"Delicious." He moaned. "Can I have another spoonful, Nana?"

"We agreed on just one." Shirley refused.

"Please?" He shifted into a cat & gave her the "face".

She was shocked at seeing his powers but she fell into his green eyes. "I suppose one more couldn't hurt."

Raven shook her head. No one could resist the "face".

Changeling shifted back & ate the spoonful happily. "When is Titans East getting here? I'm ready to eat!"

"They'll be here soon." Bumble Bee said. "Garth just messaged me that they were close."

"Can I have a brownie, Nana?" His eyes lit up.

"Me too, Nana?" Kid Flash leaned against her.

"Sure. They're already cut & stacked." Shirley liked children with big appetites.

"Yes!" The two cheered before running to the table & getting into the brownies.

"I want a brownie." Christopher looked up at his uncles.

Kid Flash handed him one. "Good, isn't it?"

Christopher took a large bite & nodded. "It's yummy!"

One by one, everyone tried a brownie.

"This is one good brownie!" Clark nibbled to savor it.

Bruce hated to admit it but… "This is the best brownie I've ever had."

"Truly delicious." Starfire had had the peanut butter brownie & loved it.

Raven did, too. "I think the baby likes it. He's kicking."

Changeling put his hand on her stomach. "Yeah, he knows it's good."

"May I?" Shirley asked. Raven nodded. Shirley put her hand on Raven's stomach. "He's an active little thing. Might be a soccer player."

"I know he likes to kick my bladder." Raven complained.

"My daughter sat on mine through the last five months of my pregnancy."

"How did you deal with the extended bathroom trips?"

"I just made sure I didn't go too far from one."

"I'm fine right now but in another ten minutes, I'm going to have to go inside."

"You're lucky you're not as far along as I was when she started lounging on my bladder. Getting around that belly was a task!"

"I'm huge." Raven gave her a look.

"You are not."

Raven turned to the side. "Look at me."

"You're just a little curvy." Shirley waved her away.

"I keep telling her she looks beautiful." Changeling ate another brownie.

"I look like a house!" Raven snapped.

"You're the smallest house I've ever seen." Shirley said. "When I went into labor, I was out to here."

Raven gawked. "Really?"

"Really. _I_ was big as a house."

"I suppose I have my heritage to thank for that." Raven chewed on her bottom lip. "Thanks, Nana."

Shirley smiled.

Changeling leaned over to whisper, "That belly trick worked. It got me out of three banishments & two yellings."

Shirley's smile widened & she whispered back. "I told you. It never fails."

"Is she supposed to be in the mood after?"

"It's a heard of occurrence."

"Cool." He grinned.

"I know you're talking about me." Raven crossed her arms.

Changeling put his hand on her belly.

She smiled in anticipation. He did nothing & she grew impatient. "What are you waiting for?"

He blinked. "What do you want from me?"

"You know what! Rub!"

"In front of people?" His eyes were wide.

She opened her mouth to blast him about teasing her when the baby kicked her bladder one too many times. "I have to use the restroom. I'll be back to chew you out."

Changeling grinned as she waddled inside. "Love you!"

(^_^€)

"We're here!" Kole shouted. "Let the party begin!"

"Do you really think you're a party?" Speedy asked.

"Not today, Ginger!" She yelled.

He grinned. "My hair is beautiful."

"I'm not in the mood! I will end you!"

Jericho picked her up & set her on the other side of himself & kissed her before signing, "Don't let him get to you."

"I can't help it." She hugged him. "He's a menace!"

"Why do you think I moved?" Bumble Bee came over & hugged her once she let her boyfriend go.

"Because you had a baby?" Speedy elbowed Hot Spot.

"Nu uhn. You will not ruin Chris's fourth birthday by having me tear your head from your shoulders. Star would never forgive me."

Speedy rubbed his neck. "Ugh!"

"Better quit, Arrow." Cheshire teased.

"No, go ahead. It's about time somebody else got him." Argent put her hands on her hips.

"One of these days, they are going to kill you & devise a way to get away with it." Cyborg hit his back.

Speedy grimaced. "You guys wouldn't do that. Right?"

"I'll provide the alibi." Aqualad kissed Terra.

Speedy's face fell. "Aww man! I'm sorry. Please don't kill me."

"You're going to be good?" Kole didn't trust him.

"I won't say another word." He promised.

"Liar!" Many of them shouted.

"I won't say another word to piss you off." He clarified with an eye-roll.

"I still don't believe you can do it." Cyborg grinned. "I like when you're around. You make me look good."

The other guys nodded.

"Oh, so I'm just here to make you slubs look good?!" Speedy was offended.

"That's why we tolerate you." Hot Spot draped an arm around his neck.

Speedy moved his arm. "I'm not that repulsive."

"That's a matter of opinion." Bumble Bee raised her chin.

"Nana, they're talking about me!"

Shirley chuckled. "Leave Roy alone. Come here, Roy. I have a brownie with your name on it."

"Ooh!"

"Nana, he doesn't deserve a brownie!" Cyborg teased.

"Oh hush!" Shirley waved him away & picked up a brownie to give to Speedy. "Don't gang up on him."

"Yeah! Don't gang up on-!" Speedy stopped speaking to bite into the brownie then stopped chewing as the flavor hit him. "Oh wow, that's good!"

"Yeah, those brownies are great." Kid Flash nodded.

"I want a brownie." Hot Spot frowned.

"Me too!" Mas & Menos exclaimed in unison.

"Have one. There's two kinds." Shirley moved so the boys could attack her homemade treats.

Aqualad & Jericho swarmed the table, too then started raving about the chocolatey confections.

"Hey!" Cyborg shouted. "You're eating all the brownies!"

Kid Flash elbowed his way in. "You're not going to eat them all!"

Changeling, Nightwing & Cyborg joined him & tried to get as many as possible. Tim, who had been by the brownies all along, was quickly shoved out.

"We're not going to get any brownies, are we?" Kole watched the boys fight.

"They might turn on us." Argent was wide-eyed & in awe.

"This is ridiculous!" Cheshire folded her arms across her chest. "We deserve brownies, too!"

"Good luck getting any." Jinx shook her head.

"Pathetic." Raven monotoned.

"Mommy, I want a brownie." Christopher patted Starfire's leg.

"I am afraid to try, Christopher." Starfire bit at her lips.

"No more brownies, Mommy?" Charlotte looked up at Raven.

"I don't think so." Raven rolled her eyes at the guys.

"We're fresh outta luck." Bumble Bee concurred.

" _We're_ not going to get any if they keep it up." Clark realized.

Bruce frowned. "I refuse to live in a world where that's a fact."

"Shall we?"

"We shall." Both dove in & started elbowing youths out of the way.

"Fully grown men…" Bumble Bee sucked her tongue.

"I'm just glad we're not in the way." Terra said.

"They'd trample us to death."

"Poor Tim." Argent pointed him out.

Tim was trying to get back in but they wouldn't let him.

"Do these men not eat?" Shirley asked.

"You wouldn't think so." Raven sighed.

"I'll just have to make more next time."

"They're throwing me a baby shower at the beginning of next month. Would you come? You can bring brownies then."

Shirley beamed. "I'd love to."

(^_^€)

"Who wants burgers & dogs?!" Bumble Bee asked.

The boys groaned. They were full off chocolate.

"I do." Kole walked over.

"The last of them are done. If you want the ones right off the grill, here. If you want one of the cooled ones, check under the foil tent." Bumble Bee shut the grill.

"I want some baked beans." Cheshire grabbed a plate.

"Oh yeah!" The boys remembered the beans.

"Let the girls go first!" Shirley commanded. "You ate dessert from them!"

"Yes, Nana." The boys chimed, shamefaced.

The girls grabbed their choice of grilled meat, grilled veggies & sides from the picnic tables. The kids were served & Shirley went before the guys got their second wind & got up to make their plates.

"You have two pans of baked beans, Nana?" Hot Spot asked.

"One's vegetarian." Shirley told him.

"Oh, that's fair." Speedy complained.

"You can have some of the veggie one if you want." Shirley nodded once.

Speedy knew what she was really saying. "Okay…"

Bumble Bee, who was feeding Calvin from her lap & plate, smirked. "It's not bad."

"You can barely taste a difference. Both are extraordinarily good." Clark had a bit of both.

"Thank you, Clark." Shirley smiled.

"They are… satisfactory." Bruce didn't want to admit that they were the best beans he'd ever had. Period.

Both Nightwing & Tim snickered. They knew how he felt.

"Satisfactory?" Shirley eyed him.

"He doesn't want to admit to liking them." Nightwing told her.

"I can so!" Bruce hissed as pink evaded his cheeks.

"Then tell her how you really feel." Tim taunted.

"I can admit to liking something!"

Everyone stared at him. "Go on."

He huffed. "I like them."

"Don't sprain something handing out that hefty compliment." Shirley said dryly.

Raven's eyes widened.

"Fine." Bruce was terribly embarrassed but his pride was on the line. "They're def. on my top 5 list of baked beans."

Tim shook his head. "He can't say it but I can. These are the best _vegetable_ I've ever eaten."

"He's right, Nana." Nightwing nodded. "I could be a vegetarian if I could only eat your baked beans all day every day."

"Aww! Thank you, sugars." Shirley beamed.

"Can you show us how to make them?" Raven asked.

"Of course, darling."

"Yes!" Changeling high-fived Kid Flash.

"Can we open presents after we eat?" Christopher asked.

"Sure." Nightwing said. "We won't be able to swim for a while so we might as well."

"Yay!"

"You're going to like my present, Chris." Speedy pointed his thumb at his chest.

"Not as much as mine." Hot Spot swore.

"Please! My present kicks all of your presents' butts!" Changeling bragged.

"You have no idea what you're talking about Grass Stain. _My_ present is sure to make me-" Cy set his fists on his hips. "Favorite Uncle!"

"What?! no way!" The other guys exclaimed.

"Yeah huh!"

The guys started bickering.

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Shirley asked Nightwing, who ate quietly.

He shook his head. "They're not going to listen to me. Besides, if they're arguing, I can get more beans."

The girls giggled.

(^_^€)

"What is it?" Christopher was so confused.

"It's a telescope." Nightwing was impressed. "You use it to look up at the stars."

"Oh! Thank you, Uncle Isaiah." Christopher chirped.

"You're welcome, little dude." Hot Spot said.

"Open mine." Jericho signed.

Starfire grabbed the box & opened it. "A ball made for the basket! How lovely!"

"I figured he might like sports."

"He watches basketball with me." Nightwing nodded. "Great gift, Joseph."

Jericho waved away the praise.

"Thank you, Uncle Joey." Christopher tried to bounce the basketball but it wasn't working on the sand.

"You're welcome."

"Okay, open mine." Speedy couldn't wait.

Nightwing helped Christopher open the gift. "Oh no."

"Oh yeah!"

Nightwing lifted out a trumpet. "Why, Roy? Why?"

"You know instruments. Why can't they?"

"Because it's going to drive us crazy." Bumble Bee deadpanned.

"Bonus."

Cyborg caught her before she could fly over. "Don't commit murder in front of witnesses."

"We won't tell." Aqualad said.

"We know how to mind our own business." Jericho added.

Speedy scoffed in hurt. "Hot Spot! Can you believe this?!"

"It's you. So yes." Hot Spot shrugged.

"Guys?" He looked to the twins.

"No habla ingles." They shook their heads.

"Oh, you just suck! So if she just killed me right here, right now, no one would call the police or help me?!"

"You'd be dead as a doornail & we'd help cover it up." Cheshire smiled.

His face fell.

"I'd call the police." Shirley said.

His face picked up. "Thank you, Nana!"

"Why, Nana?!" Bumble Bee glared at Speedy. "He doesn't deserve help!"

"Every living thing deserves help." Shirley said.

"He's not living. He's just a thing."

"A mangy thing." Argent added.

"A rotten, mangy thing." Kole put in.

"A dirty, rotten, mangy thing." Cheshire threw in.

"Suffice to say, Roy sucks." Jinx examined her nails.

Speedy was close to having hurt feelings. "What are you trying to say?"

"& he's as bright as a rock." Raven sighed.

"Hey!" Terra defended. "Rocks aren't stupid!"

The guys fell out laughing.

"One of these days, I'm gonna be gone & you'll miss me!" Speedy promised.

"If you leave now, we can get started." Bumble Bee kissed her teeth.

Speedy pouted.

Shirley cupped his chin. "You are special, you are wonderful. They're just teasing."

"Thanks, Nana."

"Presents?" Christopher held up a gift.

Starfire giggled. "Yes, precious."

(^_^€)

"So what's the entertainment?" Nightwing asked.

Changeling leapt to his feet & struck a pose. "Tada! Me!"

Everyone stared at him.

"No. Really." Nightwing asked.

Changeling glared. "It's me!"

"Garfield!" Raven warned. "If you think telling jokes that only a four year old would like is good entertainment-"

"I'm not telling jokes!" He waved her away. "Ooh! But that's an idea for Charlie!"

Charlotte's eyes widened. "No!"

"Come on, baby girl. I'm funny." He sulked with his lip poked out.

"No, Daddy."

"I'm funny!"

"Maybe."

He brightened. "I'll take it!"

"If you're not telling jokes, what's the entertainment?" Cyborg wanted to know.

"What's one thing people do when they go to Hawaii?"

"Eat local cuisine."

"Surf?" Nightwing put in.

"Get those tacky Hawaiian shirts." Cheshire taunted.

"Close!" Changeling grinned. "Swim with dolphins!"

"That was nowhere near close." Jinx whispered to Bumble Bee.

"You're going to turn into a dolphin & make us swim with you?" Nightwing had a very underwhelmed look on his face.

"It'll be boss!" Changeling swore.

"Can I, Mommy? Can I?" Christopher hopped.

Starfire had never heard of swimming with dolphins. "I am not sure. Perhaps your father should go first?"

"What?!" Nightwing was taken aback. "Why me?!"

"You are the most brave, are you not?"

Nightwing wanted to say no, he was _not_ the most brave but his son ( & everyone else) was staring at him. "Fine."

She clapped & hugged him.

"Yay, Daddy!" Christopher hugged his legs.

The others congratulated him.

Nightwing looked at Changeling dryly. "You better not kill me."

Changeling grinned.

(^_^€)

"It is getting the late." Starfire lifted Christopher off Shirley's lap. "We must go inside soon."

"No!" Christopher kicked his legs.

"Christopher, I will not tell you again." She hoped he wouldn't throw a fit in front of everyone.

"I hate you! You never let me do anything!" Christopher kicked to be let down but Starfire held his wiggly body still.

"Chris!" Shirley was surprised. "That's not a very nice thing to say to your mother!"

"Why?" He folded his arms. "She's a mean poopyhead & if she went away, nobody would miss her!"

Starfire gasped in shock & hurt.

Shirley looked at him crossly. "Go find your father & tell him exactly what you said."

Starfire put him down & he stomped off to do as told.

"Come sit, sweetheart." Shirley told Starfire.

Starfire sat numbly. "I cannot believe he has said these things. He hates me."

"He does not hate you. I don't know what his problem is but he doesn't hate you." Shirley wrapped her arms around her.

Starfire sniffled & began telling Shirley all that had transpired. "I fear I am not a sufficient enough mother for him."

"Something must be going on. & we're going to figure it out."

(^_^€)

Christopher found his father talking with Bruce, Clark & Changeling. "Daddy!"

"Yes, Chris?" Nightwing sipped a drink.

"Nana told me to tell you that I said that I hate Mommy."

Changeling spit his drink out.

Nightwing was just as surprised. "What?!"

"I told Mommy I hate her & that if she would go away, nobody would miss her." Christopher pouted.

"Chris! I can't believe you said that!"

"That's what Jack said."

"Jack? Your friend from preschool?" Nightwing's brows knitted.

"Jack says mommies are the worst. That if they all were to go away, nobody would miss them & that boys were better than girls. That they just think about makeup & boys. What's makeup?"

The four men were gobsmacked.

Christopher waited.

"Jack told you all of that?" Nightwing was finally able to speak.

"Yeah, he said his daddy told him all about how boys & girls are a supposed to act. He said his daddy said girls are stupid &\- &\- I can't 'member the word but it means they cry a lot."

"Jack's daddy sounds like a-"

"Gar!" Nightwing agreed.

"I was going to say a misogynist."

"What's that?" Christopher asked.

"It's someone who thinks boys are better than girls & it's not a good thing." Clark folded his arms.

"But Jack's daddy says-"

"Well your Mommy's daddy is saying that Jack's daddy is a jerk."

"No one is better than anyone." Bruce added. "We're all the same. Whether we're human, alien or metahuman. Boy or girl, we're the same."

"So girls aren't just for cooking & cleaning & raising babies?" Christopher was blown away.

"No way! Jack's dad is a real piece of work!" Changeling snapped. "Your daddy cooks, doesn't he? I cook. Uncle Vic cooks. We all clean up. We raise you guys. Your mommy & aunts are powerful superheroes. Everyone can do anything. There are no rules on who gets to do what."

"That's called equality." Bruce said roughly.

"So Jack was wrong?" Christopher tried to wrap his mind around all this.

"Jack was very wrong." Nightwing told him. "How do you think it made Mommy feel to hear you say that?"

"I don't know. Bad?"

"How would you feel if she said she hated you & nobody would miss you if you left?"

Christopher thought about it. "I'd be really sad."

"Alright. What do you think you should do?"

"Tell her I'm sorry. I love her & I don't want her to go anywhere. I'd miss her too much."

"Alright. Good boy. Let's go." He took Christopher by the hand & led him over to a crying Starfire & a comforting Shirley.

"Don't cry, Mommy." Christopher hugged her. "I'm sorry I said all that stuff. Jack said his daddy said it but Daddy & Grandfather & Grandpa & Uncle Gar said he was wrong! I didn't mean any of it. I love you & I would be sad if you ever went away."

"The really?" Starfire sniffled.

"The really." He hugged her tighter.

She picked him up & squeezed him tight. "Oh, Christopher, that makes me so very happy!"

"This Jack's daddy sounds like he needs a foot upside the head." Shirley muttered.

"I'm thinking of looking them up & making sure his mother isn't chained to the basement." Nightwing added.

Starfire ignored them both. "Would you like to play before we retire to the tower, little one?"

"Yay!" Christopher set his chin on her shoulder. "I love you, Mommy."

"Oh, I love you so, my little bumgorf. I love you so."

 _ **& this explains Chris's behavior over the last few months. Kids are really impressionable  & soak things up like a sponge. Be careful what you say in front of them. They **_**will** _ **repeat it.**_


End file.
